Chante JVR

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Planning a wedding is an exhilarating and sentimental journey, but one of the most challenging tasks is undoubtedly creating the guest list. Balancing budget constraints, venue capacity, and the desire to celebrate with loved ones can make the process seem overwhelming. However, our love story taught us valuable lessons in creating a wedding guest list that truly reflected our values and priorities.

In August, we’ll be engaged for two years, so we’ve had a lot of time to think about how many guests we want and who we want to invite. I’ve never wanted a big wedding, but Jeremy did. We started off with 120 guests, but the longer we were engaged, the more we whittled it down. It went to 100, then to 80, and then, eventually, to 60. Weddings are expensive and the more guests you have, the more it’s going to cost you. This is something to consider when you decide who to invite, and you should never feel pressured to invite anyone.

Plus 1’s

We didn’t have plus 1’s per say. If we’re friends with your partner, then they’re invited. It didn’t have anything to do with you. If we’ve never met them or don’t know them very well, sorry, they don’t make the cut. This day is about the guests just as much as it is about us, and we don’t want to spend it with people we don’t know.

Kids

We’re still at that age and point in our lives where not too many of our friends have kids, so when we were planning our dream wedding, one thing we knew for sure was that we didn’t want kids at the party. Yep, we made that decision and stuck with it! People had all sorts of opinions about it, but we didn’t let the pressure get to us. Our wedding, our rules, right? We wanted a day that truly represented us and our style, and that meant having an adults-only bash. It wasn’t about excluding anyone; it was about creating an atmosphere where everyone could relax and have a blast without worrying about the little ones running around. We gave our guests enough time to make other plans and if they couldn’t, unfortunately, that’s not for you to stress over and try to fix. Plus, let’s be honest, we want to let loose and have some grown-up fun! So, we stood firm, ignored the naysayers, and are going to have the kid-free celebration of our dreams. Your day, your way – that’s what it’s all about!

Family

Oh, the family guest list dilemma! Since my family all live in Cape Town, it’s a little hard to maintain relationships with everyone. Some people I haven’t spoken to in years. This means I invited a very limited number of family members to our wedding. The standard aunts and uncles and cousins I grew up with were all on the list, but the second cousin twice removed was, well, removed. Jeremy also only recently got back into contact with his cousins and barely has a relationship with his aunts and uncles. He’s closer to my family than he is to his own, really. We understand that life can sometimes lead us on different paths, and it’s okay to drift apart. Now say it with me, ladies and gentlemen, “just because they’re family doesn’t mean they automatically get an invite.” Good job!

Friends

One decision that tugged at our heartstrings was whether to invite friends we hadn’t been in touch with for a while. I’m no longer friends with anyone I’d been friends with in high school, and while Jeremy didn’t lose his high school friends, he is barely in contact with them and hardly sees them anymore. It’s natural for friendships to evolve, and life’s twists and turns can sometimes lead us on different paths. As much as we cherished the memories we shared with these friends, we realized that our wedding should be an intimate affair, filled with the people who had played an active role in our lives recently. While it wasn’t easy to leave out some old pals, we wanted our special day to be an authentic reflection of the present, surrounded by the love and support of those who have been an integral part of our journey till now. We hold these old friendships dear in our hearts, and we hope they understand that our decision wasn’t about diminishing their significance, but rather a way to create an intimate celebration with the friends who have been there for us through thick and thin.

In the end, our wedding guest list journey taught us so much about making choices that truly felt right for us. We learned to stay true to ourselves and not let outside pressures sway our decisions. It wasn’t always easy, especially when it came to excluding certain family members and long-lost friends. But we realized that our wedding day should be about celebrating with the people who have been an active part of our lives and who continue to support and love us. It was all about surrounding ourselves with the ones we hold close to our hearts, creating an intimate and genuine celebration. We hope our experience inspires other couples to be brave in making their own guest lists, keeping in mind that it’s all about embracing what makes their love story unique and unforgettable. Remember, it’s your special day, and it should be filled with the love and joy of those who matter most to you!

P.S. Being picky about who you invite, will also make seating everyone MUCH EASIER.

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